Love marriage-2

Note: Before reading this post, please read previous post.

It’s me this time… As I’d mentioned earlier, I had to come up with this post…

There’s sort of some history behind this post. Lately, I’ve seen 2 inter-cast weddings(love-cum-arranged) in my family. Since, we are living in a so-called modern world, it’s obvious to question, how does that matter? And that I need to grow up! And it all sounds so regressive from the very first sentence of the paragraph. Well, it somehow matters in a typical orthodox big fat Marwari family, where marrying a guy or a girl of own choice has been a taboo. Obviously, when it comes to arranged marriage, choice is given to the eligible bachelor who’s about to marry. But, love marriage…!!! Noooo…

Alright, so now, as it has taken place in my family, I’m very happy for two of my cousins that they got to marry a girl of their own respective choice.
What has left me wondering is somewhere related to the girls(my Bhabhis now) with whom they’ve married. I mean, it’s okay for guys, for nothing’s changed for them even after marriage, except that they now have to shoulder responsibility of a new member in the family. But for the girls, who’ve left their culture, religion, family, lifestyle and values behind, it seems really difficult. I salute to the woman power that it makes women compromise, with so much patience and ease and understanding, everything with which they’ve lived for 20-25 odd years. And the compromise is somehow expected outta them, after they come to a new place and new family. And if they do not match up to those expectations even a few percents closer, they’re all blamed and accused and not the guys. I personally find it ridiculous. And that’s why I somewhere agree to the previous post below, that many of us want to do love marriage only b’coz it’s “Jawaani ka josh” and in “fashion”. But as it is observed, most of them do not give it a complete thought, before taking a decision, which has its impact over the whole lifetime. And failed or wrong decisions obviously lead to frustration, compromises, fights and eventually failed marriages.

By this, I do not ‘at all’ intend to oppose the concept of love marriage. It’s in fact very beautiful to marry a guy/girl you love and spend the rest of the lifetime happily with him/her. Somewhere, little compromises, sacrifices, fights are expected. Big deal about it. That’s part and parcel of any marriage. What is to be looked after is, if, before marrying, a complete thought is given to the things and circumstances which may affect the marriage later? Be it any kind of marriage love marrriage(which takes place after 50-60 odd meetings) or arranged marriage(which takes place after 5-6 meetings). Personally, I can’t ask my girl to make any sort of compromises after marriage, except she does it at her own will. Then too, i won’t be very happy if she’d have to make compromises just because she’d have to. And if, not making those compromises, is gonna create troubles for everyone then, I’m not going to indulge in that kind of marriage at all, be it love or arranged or love-cum-arranged. The risk of post-marriage is somehow understood and anticipated in arranged marriages at least. It is far less seen in love marriages. Not that, love marriages are totally immature on this front. I’m just speaking probabilitywise.

PS: I’m just 20. And this post, is somehow not expected outta me right now. There are better issues to discuss. It so happened that, I’d gone to Chokhi-Dhani with my friends and then went to a Jyotish there. After asking him about my love life(It was just for fun), he refused a possibility of my love-marriage left, right n center. Not that I’m going to trust him afterall. But ironically, considering my love and respect for my traditional family, I’ve always been considering an arranged marriage for me.

PPS: My 2 cousins are very happy and so are their respective spouses. I salute to my Bhabhis for they’ve really given up everything of their own and have accomodated themselves to a totally new lifestyle.


2 thoughts on “Love marriage-2

  1. FrostBite June 11, 2009 at 7:36 am Reply

    Mature thought really….kudos!

  2. Bharat June 1, 2011 at 2:36 am Reply

    Nice blog dear I like your blog it’s looking so cool according to blog theme. I would like to join your blog again and again. arya samaj mandir in gurgaon, arya samaj mandir noidia

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