Monthly Archives: May 2012

Life is bound to be uncertain

Was driving late to home another day. I was going home in my car after visiting my sister’s house. Must be 11.30pm. Past few days were not good for me. I was in general frustrated about things not going the right way.

At work, I had disappointed the team by some carelessness in my work. A wrong code had got pushed on production environment. And I had not verified that correctly.

I stay in Pune with 2 of my younger siblings (a younger sister and a younger first cousin brother). My entire family resides in Beed (a place at a 5-6 hour driving distance from Pune). Being the eldest at Pune house, I am expected to take care of certain things. Lately, I was asked by my father to take care of some important work. But I did not give it as much importance and procrastination happened. I had to face the music from my father eventually.

My siblings are teenagers. I don’t think they have matured enough. They keep fighting between each other for petty issues. I had been feeling tired of being a counselor to them.

My first cousin is still not responsible and matured enough as to take care of his own. And he’s only suffered because of that. His ignorance to his body, food habits, hygiene has started taking a toll on his health. I have been trying to take care of him like his parents would. But my efforts to get him out of his mess seemed futile.

At a personal level, my exercise routine, which I had built after a lot of perseverance and consistency, had started crashing. My out of shape physique has been a botheration any which way. At 23, if you’re not in the right shape and don’t have the right kind of fitness, then it is a BIG deal. A good exercise routine is a way to ensure a good level of fitness which lasts lifelong. It is basic health and hygiene, which should not be ignored at any expense. But ignorance had started creeping in.

I have not been able to visit my hometown for a good amount of time now. I have been so wanting to see my grandparents and other family members (It’s a joint family). My grandparents have not been able to visit Pune lately because of their health issues. It should be my job to take some time out to meet them. But household responsibilities in Pune have been holding me back. I had started feeling ashamed of myself for these stupid excuses to not visit my hometown and my dearest grandparents.

And then there were other things. I had failed at a proper spoken communication on several occasions. Some relationships had taken a hit. There was some insecurity about some other relationships and about the future life.  At 23, life had started appearing clueless.

All these thoughts were rolling in my mind as I neared a flyover close to my house. Being an empty road, I was driving at more than my normal speed. The flyover is a little curved. There’s a sharp right turn right after ascending the flyover and right before descending it. I usually have to slow down on this curve. But I was on top of my speed and was in the rightmost lane. I had forgotten about the curve. And when the curve arrived, I suddenly applied the brakes and slowed myself down. Not that there was anyone in front, since it’s a one way flyover. But had I not applied brakes, there was a good chance of losing control and dashing the car against the right hand side railing of the bridge. Worst, because of my speed, I could have broken the railing and my car would have fallen off the bridge turning into a fatal incident for sure. I was horrorstruck. I quickly gained my control back.

And then I rolled back all my thoughts. The thought of a possible accident and the horror of the death shook me in and out. All the issues seemed small in front of the biggest offering called Life. I realized that troubles and difficulties are bound to happen in Life. Life’s not a fairy tale. Problems will be around at every stage of life. If there are issues that are bothering me and if they’re under my control, I should fix them. If there are things beyond my control, then no point bothering.

Life’s about living in the moment. It’s my job to make each moment count. Life’s also about the uncertainty of the future. There’s no set path. Paths are made by walking. I should keep walking, while doing an honest job of making my life and others’ lives better.

I must admit, this post has inspired me to write this blog post.

Little pleasures of life

I reached home at 10pm, after a long day at work on one of these days. The whole house was quiet. This was pretty unusual. Lights in the living room were switched off. My younger cousin, Sanket was sleeping on the couch. My sister younger sister Rasika must also be sleeping, I thought. (I come from a small town in Maharashtra called Beed. 3 of us – Rasika, Sanket and I – are staying together in Pune for our academics and career).

I started removing my shoes and socks. And out of nowhere, a toy Car operated by Remote Control came flashing in front me. It actually came from under the glass table in the living room. It was this white BMW toy model with lights mounted on it. It took 2 rounds around me, as I was removing my shoes. What’s happening I thought? I was wondering about who’s operating the Car. Sanket was sleeping and I did not see anyone else.I went crazy. I thought the Car works on its own and was put on a timer or something. This went on for 2 minutes. Maybe it’s Niraj, my 11 year old cousin; ‘coz I also remembered that Niraj was going to be in Pune with us to spend his summer holidays. I switched on the lights. Then I saw a little pair of sandals hidden nicely in the Shoe rack. I knew it was him. I shouted his name him aloud :). I saw some movement in the dining hall after that. Niraj was hiding somewhere. I quickly rushed to the dining hall, caught him and hugged him 🙂

My creative, playful and fun loving brother thought of welcoming me in such a unique manner. Who would think of doing that? Niraj knew that I knew that he would be coming to Pune. So his coming to Pune wasn’t a surprise – surprise. Then too, he thought of this playful gesture :)If I were to welcome someone, I would just say a casual Hi or touch the feet as a tradition if it was someone elder.

As we grow older, we become so boring. The innocence and the randomness get lost somewhere. We suddenly become so conscious of who we are, what we are, what we should be. We should just allow ourselves to break free, loosen up, be random, laugh out loud, let the heart stay forever young as the brain gets matured and never let the kid in ourselves die.

There’s no moral to the story. It’s about how life keeps throwing wonderful surprises at you. It made me feel so so great after a long tiring routine day. Life is all about such little pleasures in it.This also reminds of me of the beautiful quote by Kurt Vonnegut  “I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is'” –

It is very beautifully illustrated by Zen Pencils here :
Niraj and I, after this happened
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